Contra Natura
The world is upside down people. What the fuck?!
(Based on a true story.)
I was just hanging out with some friends somewhere where we usually frequent when suddenly a notice a guy looking at in my direction. I smile to be polite and look around me to see who the hell the guy was looking at. And I see a very pretty girl sitting right behind me, so I sigh in relief that its not me. But here is the contra natura part... it WAS me he was looking at because he called me to him. Again this ackward because I dont go out with friends to pick ANYBODY up. I just want to hang out. So this guy tells me," Hey is your name Wanda?"
I reply, "No." And in my head I am thinking "What the fuck? Are you kidding me? That's one of the lamest lines invented my man!" When I turn to leave.
He stops me with "Sorry but its just that you look like a friend of my who is as delicious looking as you."
By this time I'm already annoyed because the guy hitting on my looks about 18 years old and has the sense of brick. So I thank him for the compliment and turn to leave once again when he asks me my age.
I reply "Twenty five." To which he replies,
"Good a woman with vast experience."
And I say, "Nope. I have no experience." (I know I lied my ass off here but I was trying to see which techniques would turn a guy off. Apparently inexperience is not the way to go.)
He asks, "Want to acquire experience with me?"
(Oh bloody hell!)
I say, "No I already like someone and its pretty much a sure thing." And could you believe that he kept on going. I have to give him points for persistence. He was like a cockroach. (Let me clarify the point that in none of this did he want my name. Which if you want to get to know someone is the first thing you ask, isn't it?)
He asked me if I was sure that the guy really liked me and I lied my ass off once again and said that yes I was sure because we were starting a relationship. And he finally gave up and left.
*Sighs in great relief*
I hate to be mean (not really) but sometimes you need to be. I made no advances to the guy and made no hints that said "please approach me." You know me, I don't do that. The kid was probably under 20, drunk and had no common sense (the name thing plus the lame line are a good example of this.) And as much as kid around about waiting for my Mr. Smith and that he hasn't been born yet, I do not rob the craddle. I like my men older and with common sense if not intelligence. I know, I know. It's too much to ask.
On a different note there is no cable and no internet at my house so I watched movies with my dad all day yesterday. I organized some stuff for my thesis while watching movies and really saw how much I had already read. No wonder my brain is going numb by now. Just in case you're wondering about which movies we saw:
1. White Oleander
2. Underworld
3.Underworld 2: Evolution
4. The Core
5. Constantine
Of course my dad chose the father/daughter bonding to bother me, and tried to tickle me. And I, in retaliation, started to yank his leg's hairs out with my feet. All in all it was quite entertaining to see my dad squirm for awhile. :D
(Based on a true story.)
I was just hanging out with some friends somewhere where we usually frequent when suddenly a notice a guy looking at in my direction. I smile to be polite and look around me to see who the hell the guy was looking at. And I see a very pretty girl sitting right behind me, so I sigh in relief that its not me. But here is the contra natura part... it WAS me he was looking at because he called me to him. Again this ackward because I dont go out with friends to pick ANYBODY up. I just want to hang out. So this guy tells me," Hey is your name Wanda?"
I reply, "No." And in my head I am thinking "What the fuck? Are you kidding me? That's one of the lamest lines invented my man!" When I turn to leave.
He stops me with "Sorry but its just that you look like a friend of my who is as delicious looking as you."
By this time I'm already annoyed because the guy hitting on my looks about 18 years old and has the sense of brick. So I thank him for the compliment and turn to leave once again when he asks me my age.
I reply "Twenty five." To which he replies,
"Good a woman with vast experience."
And I say, "Nope. I have no experience." (I know I lied my ass off here but I was trying to see which techniques would turn a guy off. Apparently inexperience is not the way to go.)
He asks, "Want to acquire experience with me?"
(Oh bloody hell!)
I say, "No I already like someone and its pretty much a sure thing." And could you believe that he kept on going. I have to give him points for persistence. He was like a cockroach. (Let me clarify the point that in none of this did he want my name. Which if you want to get to know someone is the first thing you ask, isn't it?)
He asked me if I was sure that the guy really liked me and I lied my ass off once again and said that yes I was sure because we were starting a relationship. And he finally gave up and left.
*Sighs in great relief*
I hate to be mean (not really) but sometimes you need to be. I made no advances to the guy and made no hints that said "please approach me." You know me, I don't do that. The kid was probably under 20, drunk and had no common sense (the name thing plus the lame line are a good example of this.) And as much as kid around about waiting for my Mr. Smith and that he hasn't been born yet, I do not rob the craddle. I like my men older and with common sense if not intelligence. I know, I know. It's too much to ask.
On a different note there is no cable and no internet at my house so I watched movies with my dad all day yesterday. I organized some stuff for my thesis while watching movies and really saw how much I had already read. No wonder my brain is going numb by now. Just in case you're wondering about which movies we saw:
1. White Oleander
2. Underworld
3.Underworld 2: Evolution
4. The Core
5. Constantine
Of course my dad chose the father/daughter bonding to bother me, and tried to tickle me. And I, in retaliation, started to yank his leg's hairs out with my feet. All in all it was quite entertaining to see my dad squirm for awhile. :D
posted by Sharon Mendez at 8:19 AM
1 comments
