One Year

As many of you already about a year ago exactly today, I had the results of my first mamogram. It was kind of ironic that a month before when I found the lump in my breast my mom also found one and the doctors were scared it was cancer. We were all scared about it, so I didn't want to add to the tension by telling anybody I found a lump. So I kept quiet. I kept quiet until I felt it had gotten bigger. So I got my head out of my ass long enough to tell my mom that I found a lump. Since I didn't really know if it was a "normal" lump my mom examined me too. After that she made me go to my obgyn as soon as possible to get a "referido" to get the mamogram. Once the results were in I didn't go to the obgyn, it was too full to get an appointment for anytime soon, so I went to a generalist who read me the results. They were negative. It was only after I knew it was negative that I told my bobbies. But the coast wasn't clear yet. After the results of it the doctor asked me to get more tests because even though it wasn't cancer the lump had a strange consistency that she wanted to see clearly in order to see if it needed to be taken out. It seems that the mamogram did show that my breast had a harder consistency than it should and therefore even if they detected lumps they were had to see. The consistency of my breast makes it more difficult to diagnose cancer, if I ever develop it. After further tests she agreed that the lump could stay with me for it didn't pose any threat to my health. A month before my family (only the four of us knew about it) had gone through the terrible uncertainty of my mom's breast, and here we were a month later going through with me. My mom told me "I'm 53 years old if I have cancer its ok I lived my life, but you can't get it you're only 23 your not suppose to go through this." The worst part was hearing my dad cry through the wall of my room thinking I couldn't hear him.

No I don't have breast cancer. But from that October 24, 2005 I live each year with the uncertainty of it.

It seems fitting that on the eve of my mamogram anniversary the movie "Why I wore lipstick to my masectomy" premiered on Lifetime. The story of a 27 year old woman that was diagnosed with breast cancer and that wore lipstick to her masectomy to finally be the kind of woman she always wanted to be.

I don't have breast cancer, but I know how precious life can be. So to all of you who might read this blog I ask off you:

Do regular self- breast exams.
Start getting mamograms yearly after you turn 23 years old.
Visit your Obgyn at least once a year.

If you are a man that is reading this blog, which is doubtful. Be aware that men, even though in less quantities than women, also get breast cancer. And please tell the women you love to do self- breast exams, mamograms, and visit the obgyn.

My year is up, and my mamogram soon awaits me. But even though red lipstick doesn't favor me, I am trying to be the woman I always wanted to be.


Love you Bobbies.